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كيفية التعامل مع الزوجة العنيدة والعصبية

How to deal with a stubborn and nervous wife is a matter that concerns every man who suffers from this problem with his wife. her husband and turn into one of the reasons that upset him and harm his life, and this harm is through stubbornness, refusal of the husband’s orders, and the wife raising her voice over his voice.

About the personality of women in general

Usually, the personalities of women do not match. Every woman has what distinguishes her from others, whether in formal or psychological characteristics. These characteristics are what determine a woman’s advantages and disadvantages that may disturb her husband. There are many characteristics that can affect a woman’s personality, namely:

genetic characteristics

There is no doubt that a person’s genes affect a lot in his personality, as they determine his formal features, which are one of the most important factors that determine how others deal with him, and they often determine his intelligence and talents that can push him in different ways in life. Certainly, the personality of an educated woman is very different from The personality of a woman who failed to gain knowledge at the academic and cultural level, and the personality of an intelligent woman is different from that of a woman with limited mental capabilities.

formal characteristics

A woman’s formal characteristics determine many of the things on which her personality is built later. For example, if a girl is very beautiful and she hears expressions of extreme flattery from her childhood, this may earn her, with its repetition throughout her life, the trait of vanity, while if she is very ugly, this may lead to breaking her personality and feeling self-hatred, but no This rule is considered a general rule, as there may be many women who feel inferior despite their beauty, and many other women who are arrogant with their ugliness. The above is just a common rule to which there are many exceptions.

environmental characteristics

The environment in which women grow up affects their personal nature greatly. The environment in which women grow up is divided into two types of environment:

  • Internal environment “the family”: It is the first thing that a woman is affected by in her childhood and has a great influence in shaping her personality by being influenced by the father and the mother and their directives to her. The woman may acquire many bad qualities such as stubbornness, quick anger and bad behaviors from her mother or father, while if the house is friendly And respect among its members, rarely acquires the woman who came out of bad qualities such as stubbornness and intolerance.
  • An external environment “outside the home”: An environment outside the home includes the school, the club and friends, all of these places affect the personality of the woman since her childhood, with the ideas and behaviors that she cultivates in her.

Causes of stubbornness and nervousness in the wife

Marriage is a complete institution based on friendliness and compassion between a man and his wife. It is a source of security, while it is a source of tenderness. Any attempt to change this rule is sufficient to tip the scales and destroy marital life. Therefore, the problem of the wife’s stubbornness is considered one of the biggest problems that threaten the marriage system in the current era. The following are the reasons for stubbornness The wife is:

Wife feeling nervous

The reason for the stubbornness of many wives is that they feel nervous all the time, as they consider any behavior of their husbands as a blatant challenge to their personal space. Or not, and then she begins to project all her problems and negative feelings on her husband’s actions, so she becomes stubborn with him and becomes nervous about his actions.

Lack of communication between spouses

The wife’s stubbornness may be the result of her feeling that she is not important in her husband’s life, as he does not listen to her and does not take her opinion even if he listens to him, which makes her feel as if he is stabbing her in her dignity in some way. with it.

The wife’s inability to express herself

The reason for the wife’s stubbornness may be her inability to engage in dialogue with her husband, whether because she is weak verbally and is superior to her in terms of the ability to present the argument, or the reason was the husband’s lack of understanding of her and she begins to express herself in another way, which is stubbornness and nervousness until she attracts the husband’s attention to her, or it may be the reason It is her feeling of injustice and injustice as a result of her inability to clarify her point of view, which leads her to try to impose her opinions by force through stubbornness and nervousness directed towards the husband and his actions.

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The defect in the upbringing of the wife

The presence of a defect in the upbringing of the wife is one of the most important reasons that may lead the wife to be stubborn with her husband. The defect in the upbringing of the wife is divided into two parts:

  • Excess pampering: The reason for the wife’s stubbornness may be her accustomed since childhood that her requests will be implemented if she insists on the request and shows stubbornness and anger. Nervousness is a solution to problems and a perfect way to get what they want.
  • Imitating the parents: Sometimes the stubbornness of the wife is due to her imitating one of her parents, whether this person is the father or the mother. It causes them a lot of problems later on with their husbands.

Husband’s cruelty to wife

Old people used to say that much sadness teaches crying, and this wisdom means that anything that exceeds its limits will inevitably lead to the emergence of a new behavior that the person did not have. Cruelty may be verbally, such as deliberately directing bad or harsh words to the wife most of the time, and this cruelty may also be in action, such as beating the wife or forcing her to do things she refuses.

Wife feeling inferior

Sometimes the feeling of inferiority in men and women causes them to act aggressively with other people, whether these people are relatives, friends, or even the husband. She basically feels inferior in front of him and that he does not respect her for her person, so she resorts to trying to annoy him so that he respects her out of fear of her, not love in her.

The wife’s rejection of her husband’s behavior

The wife’s rejection of her husband’s behavior and behavior is often the first reason for her stubbornness with him. Sometimes the tyranny of the husband is mixed with his opinion and his misbehavior and he refuses to listen to his wife, who tries to advise him a lot. Safety for her and him and their children from the reckless behavior of the husband and his recklessness.

How to deal with a stubborn and nervous wife

Many men are looking for ways to deal with their wives who are nervous and stubborn because they do not accept such behavior from their wives with their fear of divorce and displacement of the family and children, so the only solution in front of these men is to try to straighten their wives and find ways to deal with them. The following are the successful ways to deal with the wife Stubborn and nervous:[1]

Stay away from explicitly opposing the wife

The most important way of dealing with a stubborn and nervous wife is complete calm in dealing with her and trying to implement most of what she asks if there is no harm to the husband, his family or his children. Her stubbornness because of her feeling of lack of self-confidence or persecution or other reasons based on the wife’s feeling of injustice, then the wife will feel that her husband is not arbitrary in refusing to implement her words or opinions, but he only rejects what he sees as wrong.

Finding a language to communicate with the wife

The husband should work to find discussions between him and his wife away from talking about what he wants and what she wants, as the discussion between them will bring them closer to each other and bring their views closer as well as it trains them to listen to each other and not to rebel at any sign of a difference of opinion, especially from Kiss the wife who will feel her husband’s interest in her.

Encouraging the wife to fill her spare time

Some wives act stubbornly with their husbands as a result of their feeling of emptiness and the lack of anything to occupy them in their lives, so they begin to invent reasons to quarrel with their husbands so that they feel that they are the owners of issues to defend and as a kind of change the monotony of life, so the husband has to push his wife to make friends with other women as it will be It is useful for her to occupy her time by choosing a hobby that she practices, especially if she is a housewife, as this hobby will greatly help her unload her energy.

Not talking to the wife when she is angry

One of the most important ways in which the husband can overcome his wife’s stubbornness is to use calm. Sometimes the wife is very nervous and the husband is like her. In such a case, when they discuss together, they begin to exchange words, which makes it impossible for both of them to retreat from what they said. Therefore, in many cases, the solution is not to Talking with the wife until she regains her calm and then discussing with her, this will find a solution to the problems of the spouses and help the wife to rethink her behavior and actions.

How do you please an upset person?

Not being cruel to the wife and treating her kindly

A husband who wants to correct his wife’s bad behavior should be nice to her. In some cases, the husband tries to correct his wife by harming her verbally and at other times physically, which causes the wife to increase violence. Praise her, flirt with her a lot, and show his love for her, which will make her more eager to please him and keep her home.

Husband admitting his mistakes

Some husbands see that they are free from admitting their mistakes, which makes their wives feel unjust and unable to take their right, so they start using the same method, which is the method of stubbornness and not admitting mistakes to confront the husband’s stubbornness, then the best way is for the husband to change himself and admit his mistakes so that his wife also acknowledges her mistakes.

Trying to support the wife in her responsibilities

Wives usually carry heavy worries, even if they are housewives, between the cleanliness of the house, the happiness of the husband and children, their education and sports training, and social and family organizations. Studying the children or connecting them to their sports training so that the wife does not feel that she is alone and that no one cares about her, so she misbehaves because she is under constant pressure.

Disciplining a stubborn wife

There are several ways to discipline a stubborn wife if kindness and attention does not work with her and solving problems with logic, and correcting the wife is by disciplining her when the problem is part of the wife’s upbringing and is embedded in the folds of her personality, then the husband may have to resort to discipline her. Our true religion has forbidden it, but by discipline it is intended to punish the wife for her mistakes in a way that does not alienate her from her husband, and we explain this in the following lines:[2]

Ways to discipline a wife

There are many ways that a husband can use to discipline his wife, and they are:

  • Blame and admonition: the husband should blame and admonish his wife in a sharp tone and confirm his rejection of her actions and ask her not to repeat them again, while emphasizing not to tolerate such behavior if they are repeated.
  • The quarrel: If the wife repeats her behavior that disturbs the husband, he can quarrel with her, and the quarrel here does not mean not only talking, but also abandoning her bed and food, that is, to be absent from her completely in his body and soul.
  • Depriving her of some of her luxuries: Some wives do not feel the value of their husbands or their fatigue for their sake, so the failure to implement some of the requests that are considered luxuries of the wife may make her reconsider herself and wonder about the reason that led to her husband changing with her.

When is divorce mandatory?

When does the discipline end?

In fact, the disciplining of the wife should not last long so as not to lead to the infiltration of estrangement into the husband’s relationship with his wife. Therefore, the discipline ends in one of two cases:

  • Wife’s apology: The husband must stop the punishment as soon as his wife apologizes to him in order to encourage her to admit her mistake and improve herself.
  • The husband’s discussion with her: Sometimes the wife takes vanity and prevents her from talking to her husband after his quarrel with her.

How to deal with a disobedient wife

Marriage is the link that God has established between a man and a woman to complement each other with his partner. The man possesses some qualities that lose his manhood by giving up on it. Likewise, the woman loses her femininity if she tries to give up her tenderness and paper. We have explained in this article how to deal with a stubborn and nervous wife so that every husband can understand the reasons He treats his wife nervously and stubbornly, and how does he solve that problem and protect his house from collapse.